Last week, Mattel and OpenAI announced their collaboration in the toy industry. This news was almost tossed into the ever growing “when I write about AI” pile–or have time to learn about the effects on brain development. But something about this announcement felt different.

At this moment, I am a middle-aged mom with both a preteen and elementary aged child. I’ve managed to gear most of my time as a working mother toward research, writing, and disseminating information that can help families. I made this entire Out Think Media endeavor around how to analyze and explain new kids media, so of course I will be skeptical of AI toys.

What if I was that new mother, over a decade ago, desperately searching for answers as to how to be a “good” mother? What if I was back to balancing and breaking life as a work-at-home-mom, determined to maintain my professional identity and drive but also remain attentive and responsive to a brand new life form quite literally attached to me?

If I had read Mattel’s press release at that time? I would have been tempted:

“Mattel will bring the magic of AI to age-appropriate play experiences with an emphasis on innovation, privacy, and safety.”

Let’s put aside the innovation piece for the moment. For parents without my background or luxury of time, I can see how AI might feel like the natural next step for parenting tech. I have more questions about their security and privacy promises that I can hopefully tackle at a later date.

The first question is, why use it at all? I’m grateful to Dr. Dana Suskind, who has been at the forefront of researching the intersection of AI and early childhood at the University of Chicago, for lending her expertise.

Table of Contents

The Allure of AI over Intimacy

“The allure is understandable. AI toys promise to solve real parenting challenges…For time-pressed families, the appeal of a toy that “knows” their child and adapts to their needs feels like a breakthrough. The marketing language of “age-appropriate” and “safe” provides comfort in an uncertain digital landscape. And if social media and current chatbot companions are any indicator, children will likely be engaged without question (eek!!)
Dr. Dana Suskind

Dana Suskind, MD, is Founder and Co-Director of the TMW Center for Early Learning + Public Health, Founding Director of the Pediatric Cochlear Implant Program, and Professor of Surgery, Pediatrics, and Public Policy (affiliated) at the University of Chicago.

What is the crucial missing piece to this conversation? Intimacy.

Dr. Suskind encourages parents to ask, what does it mean “for children to form intimate bonds with artificial entities during critical periods of brain development?” [emphasis mine throughout]

“The science is clear:” she replied to Out Think Media via email, “children form attachments to social robots just as they do to stuffed animals—but with a critical difference. Unlike a teddy bear, these AI companions keep the conversation going. We’re already seeing adults propose to their chatbot companions! When children’s attachment systems—designed over millennia to bond with other humans—activate in response to entities that provide sophisticated social reciprocity yet lack genuine emotional investment, we’re in uncharted territory.”

No Room for Error — or Growth

“AI provides children with instantaneous responses and seamless interactions, making them lose out on the opportunities to develop these crucial capacities. “Traditional play—with blocks, dolls, or even that teddy bear—,” says Dr. Suskind, “required children to fill in the gaps, create narratives, and work through problems. This “productive struggle” builds executive function and creative thinking.”

She suggests that families look at how the technology is designed:

Is it designed to keep children engaged and maximize usage time?
Or is it designed to help them interact better with other people—to build skills they can transfer to human relationships?

The answers to those questions determine whether you’re using AI as a developmental tool or, according to Suskind, “a substitute for the very experiences that build resilient, creative, socially connected human beings.

The question isn’t whether to embrace innovation, but how to ensure if used [that] these tools enhance rather than replace the irreplaceable bonds and experiences that build developing brains.”

How can families prepare our children to be ready for emerging technology?

“We are certainly not putting the technology genie back in the bottle, nor should we,” Dr. Suskind emailed. “Instead, we need to focus on equipping families with the tools they need to guide their decisions in this new frontier.

She asked Out Think to share her four foundational principles to help parents evaluate AI’s role in their children’s development:

1. The Irreplaceable Nature of Human Connection

“The developing brain needs human interaction not as a luxury, but as a biological necessity. When a parent or loving adult interacts with a child, they activate the brain’s neural circuits. These exchanges don’t just support development—they are development.”

2. The Evolutionary Advantage of Imperfection

“There is no such thing as perfect parenting. And that is actually a GOOD thing! Resilience, creativity, and adaptability—the very qualities that define us as humans—emerge not in spite of imperfection, but because of it…. When parents and children experience missteps, mismatches, and repairs, they create the friction needed to build flexible thinking and emotional regulation.”

3. The Unprecedented Stakes of AI in Early Childhood

“AI’s entry into early childhood marks a fundamental shift unlike any previous technological revolution. While older children and adults encounter AI with already-developed neural architecture, infants and toddlers are still building the very scaffolding for all future learning and relating. What happens during these early years doesn’t just shape development—it constructs it. Introducing AI during this sensitive window has implications that extend beyond individual outcomes, touching the developmental trajectory of our species.”

4. The Crucial Distinction: Augmentation vs. Replacement

“The question is no longer whether AI will enter our children’s lives—it already has. The question is how. Will AI support and strengthen human relationships, or quietly displace them? Tools that reduce caregiving burdens or deepen parent understanding hold great promise. But when AI begins to substitute for core human interaction, we risk launching an experiment with unknown—and possibly irreversible—consequences. Augmentation can be a gift. Replacement is a gamble.”

I watch YouTube so you don't have to.