UPDATE JANUARY 16, 2026: Today we learned that a number of experts launch the site metasinternalresearch.org . Within, they examine 31 internal Facebook studies showing the dangers their products pose to kids. So I thought that it’s time to renew this still-relevant piece.
UPDATE 3/21/2025, 6:42 ET — Our new new Patreon community (to replace Meta) is now soft launched! I added more information below.
What’s changing on Meta? How do they track you and what does it mean for Messenger Kids? Here’s what you need to know–and why I suggest not using it anymore.
What is Messenger Kids ?
I’ll be honest with you. When friends ask if we use Messenger Kids because they love it, I was always torn. After back and forth on how great the features are–and they are — I explain why I don’t want our children’s activity monitored by Meta.
Meta asserts that they “don’t use children’s data from Messenger Kids for advertising….we don’t sell any of your or your child’s information to anyone, and we never will.” This was last updated in 2021, and I just don’t trust them. I also can’t trust that this policy won’t be revoked at any time in the future.
We’ve known for more than a decade that Meta shares our account data with their “partners.” A 2023 Consumer Report shared how out of 709 volunteers, “on average, each participant in the study had their data sent to Facebook by 2,230 companies.”
We’re starting to see a number of laws regarding limitations on how companies can mine or use a minor’s data. I wouldn’t trust Meta to keep an eye on my child while I took a pee. So I certainly won’t give it access while my child is learning how to communicate with peers in real time.
Surveillance isn’t limited to when you are logged on to a Meta platform either. The data from this study investigated both server-to-server tracking (directly transmitted from a company to Meta servers), which is what most of us know about. They also reported on data that I’ve only recently fully understood: how Meta also tracks our activity across the web, even if there is no log in from Facebook or other such connection.
Why do Parents Love Messenger Kids ?
Objectively, Messenger Kids has excellent parental controls:
- Supervised Friending
- Contact Management
- Activity Monitoring
- Sleep Mode
- Data Management
You can see what the parent’s dashboard looks like here. Your child doesn’t need a Facebook account but Messenger Kids does need to be tied to an adult’s profile.
However, how can we believe any of Meta’s policies or privacy promises around the safety of our children?
So What’s the Problem with Meta?
Take your pick.
- Whether it’s the fact that they aren’t using fact-checkers because it seemed bias (as opposed to one group being fact checked more often because, get this: maybe they lie more often.). Source
- They also lifted the restriction on many terms that had not been allowed for discriminatory and harassment reasons, such as calling a trans person mentally unstable or a “freak.” Source
- AI poses as real people on their profiles, even therapists, was already rolled out secretly a year ago, or was a mistake, depending on who you believe. Zuckerberg has stated that their plan is to overwhelm its users with an algorithm/marketing happy AI bot. Source
- From their history, Meta has given us no reason to believe that we should trust them.
What Does that Mean for Messenger Kids and your family?
Think about the notes you passed in school (if you’re my age) or the DMs you’d get. It’s bad enough when your note used to get read out loud by a teacher.
Would you want those messages available for strangers to see, for data brokers or law enforcement to use? If you say anything even remotely violent against a person at our school, police will question your child. Who’s to say that the curiosities children express via Messenger Kids won’t be flagged?
Those privacy concerns, plus considering how they’re removing the limited safety measures they had in place for marginalized kids, makes Messenger Kids just a complete and loud “No” for me.
If you can’t find another messaging app that works for your family, here’s a good list of apps that might. Here are more messaging alternatives too, although I can’t yet vouch for these.
Instead of following us on Facebook, please join the Patreon here. There is a free tier and it’s where we will build this community to help families.
Sources:
- Dodds, Io, “Facebook lifts restrictions on calling women ‘property’ and transgender people ‘freaks,’”The Independent, 8 January 2025, https://www.the-independent.com/tech/facebook-meta-announcement-fact-checking-hate-speech-b2675594.html
- Kaplan, Joel, “More Speech and Fewer Mistakes,” Meta, 7 January 2025. https://about.fb.com/news/2025/01/meta-more-speech-fewer-mistakes/
- https://messengerkids.com/
- “Messenger Kidsm” eSafety Commissioner, https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/esafety-guide/messenger-kids
- Marti, Don; Lin, Fengyang, “Who Shares Your Information With Facebook?” Consumer Reports https://innovation.consumerreports.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/CR_Who-Shares-Your-Information-With-Facebook.pdf
- Talking Parents, 4 August 2023, https://talkingparents.com/blog/apps-for-kids-to-communicate-with-family
- Morrow, Allison, “Meta scrambles to delete its own AI accounts after backlash intensifies,” CNN Business, 3 January 2025, https://www.cnn.com/2025/01/03/business/meta-ai-accounts-instagram-facebook/index.html
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