SPOILER ALERT: This article reveals plot points and character arcs to the new Barbie film. Do not read if you don’t want spoilers.

Disclaimer: I paid for my ticket and have not accepted any money or non-monetary compensation from the filmmakers to write this. Read OutThink Media’s statement on the WGA & SAG/AFTRA Strike here.

I tried to think of a million different angles to write about the new Barbie movie. My connection to He-Man, She-Ra, and Jem was much stronger than my Barbies, although I look back on that time in her dreamhouse fondly.

But that marketing campaign! They made it an event. “The event of the century,” as someone in line in front of me for the Barbie collectible cup exclaimed. Yes, I totally drank the pink margarita and got the souvenir cup.

Why is Barbie rated PG-13?

Even though the film about a child’s toy is rated PG-13, any sexual innuendo is specifically written as innocently as a young child would say it, just repeating things they hear older people say without understanding. Fellow writer Meg St-Esprit goes into more detail in her article “Barbie is a doll for kids. The ‘Barbie’ movie is PG-13. Here’s how parents feel about the film’s rating” for Yahoo Parenting; the bottom line is that it is all in service to the story, which can be used as a clear introduction to explaining the patriarchy and how toxic masculinity is learned.

“We’ve made thinking into a masculine thing, and feeling into a feminine thing.”

Niobe Way, developmental psychologist

What is Patriarchy?

I expected a special take, probably feminist, on this iconic doll. I did not expect to enter a full-blown matriarchal society and commentary on how toxic masculinity is learned behavior.

The term is used a lot these days, and the basic meaning is that men are in charge. The larger societal meaning is deeper, as Encyclopedia Britannica explains, how it also includes a “hypothetical social system in which the father or a male elder has absolute authority over the family group; by extension, one or more men (as in a council) exert absolute authority over the community as a whole.”
The first written examples of patriarchal principles were set down by ancient philosophers Plato, Hippocrates, and Aristotle, who used their power to subjugate women – specifically their bodies – and teach their society that “women were taken to be naturally inferior to men, treated differently from birth, and trained to subjugate themselves, which itself further supported views about female subjugation and the disempowerment that entailed,” according to a 2019 article in The Nation that traces these philosophers’ doctrines to the modern day Republicans’ obsession with controlling women’s bodies. 

We watch Ken, who Ryan Gosling manages to play with both artificial sincerity and heart-wrenching nuance, go from needing to prove himself as Barbie’s love/friend interest to feeling great while she experiences misogyny in The Real World. He witnesses and feels how patriarchy affects him, and assumes this is how it should be.
When he takes patriarchy back to Barbieland, turning it into Kenworld, we get why the Kens love it – shoutout to Simu Liu for being the cutest antagonistic Ken around. They subjugate the Barbies to be their beer mistresses, and the Barbies claim to enjoy the break from being in charge without realizing that a) they are essentially hypnotized, and b) this is how it will be from now on. It isn’t just a break; it’s how the Kens want to live.

What is Toxic Masculinity? 

Patriarchy + Society = Boys Disconnecting from Emotions = Loneliness

Patriarchy + Loneliness = Toxic Masculinity

“We raise boys in American culture to disconnect from that need [to be emotional creatures], to pretend that they don’t have it, to pretend they’re not emotional,…to fake that they’re not fully human,” Professor Way explains in this NBC News segment. She is not describing “Just Ken” here, but she might as well be. “They begin to enter into a culture that asks them to disconnect from the very things they need the most to thrive.”

Continuing to tap into and validate children’s emotions foster healthy relationships. Boys especially will get the opposite messages from their friends, a lot of media, and grown-ups around them. It’s our job as caregivers to pause when they reflect toxic masculinity bask, no matter how small, and carefully but confidently explain why that way of thinking hurts people.

Should I Explain This to My Kids Before Seeing the Barbie Movie?

If they don’t play with or know much about Barbie, then you might want to explain the role that Barbie played in helping young girls see themselves as more than homemakers (so they understand the prologue), and summarize Barbie’s journey through popular culture.

Then after they barrage you with questions on why Ken did that, why the Barbies went along with it, why are all the Mattel executives men, and why they worship Barbie but still want to literally put her back in her box….that’s when to teach them about the history of the patriarchy and how it affects everyone. We’ll get into the Virgin/Whore/Mother conversation at a later date.

Any of these questions are great conversation starters, or conversation expanders, and can only help your children pinpoint when they experience such patriarchal and toxic concepts in life that directly affect their relationships with others. If they can understand it, they have the tools to make better choices.

But How Does it End?

I have mixed feelings about Barbie’s ending, but the Kens ultimately sang and danced it out, in a dream ballet that could have turned into the Jets vs Sharks in “West Side Story” yet evolved toward an inner peace and understanding that working together and leaning into friendships is the way forward – yes, even male friendships.

Photo/Image Credit: Cindy Marie Jenkins, Barbie the Movie

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Read More: 7 Ways to Show Your Kids the Power of YouTube Influencers Over Their Brains

Sources:

• Editors, “Patriarchy,” Encyclopedia Brittanica, Updated 2 June 2023, https://www.britannica.com/topic/patrimonialism 
• Mcnab, Kaitlyn, “President Barbie Issa Rae Drew Inspiration From Kamala Harris for Barbie Movie,” Teen Vogue, 10 July 2023.
• Toxic Masculinity in Boys is Fueling an Epidemic of Loneliness,” YouTube, Uploaded by NBC News, 18 January 2018, https://youtu.be/RbX76n6A160 
• Seltzer, Sarah, “How Barbie Helped Raise a Generation of Feminists,” Time, 19 July 2023.
• St-Esprit, Meg, “Barbie is a doll for kids. The ‘Barbie’ movie is PG-13. Here’s how parents feel about the film’s rating,” Yahoo Parenting, 18 July 2023,